Need to Be Heard!

The little ones have a weak voice, but they may have a lot to tell us grown-ups.

By Tuula Pere

February 20^th, 2020

Need to Be Heard!

The little ones have a weak voice, but they may have a lot to tell us grown-ups. The voices of the children have to be respected, too! It doesn’t mean giving the power or the responsibilities to the children. It’s always the adult who has to take care of the well-being of the child.

To support children to grow to balanced human beings, we must listen to them. And I mean honestly paying attention, not just saying “yes, yes” or “in a minute.” All of us - parents, relatives, teachers, or trainers of various kinds - have a huge role in the lives of the little ones. By spending time with children and listening carefully to what they have in mind, we may change their lives.

I want to tell you about one of my favorite childhood photos. It’s a very personal one and important to me. There I am with my Father and Grandfather, who is making the smoke-sauna ready for us. It’s summer, and it’s a holiday in Northern Finland. Two important men in my life are having a conversation with me, a three-year-old owner of the world. I have forgotten the topic, but the memory of the moment remains and makes me happy every time I look at the picture.

I was fortunate to be raised in a safe and supportive environment with grown-ups who had time to listen to me. I still remember how happy and proud I felt when the others were interested in hearing my opinion. It gave me much confidence in the years to come. Encounters with new people in studies, jobs, and other activities in adult life were easier with the feeling that there is a place for my opinions, too.

Of course, children can also be annoying in their manner of speaking and behavior. Sometimes, they make much noise or bombard us with never-ending wishes or suggestions – or the timing is inconvenient. And an adult is just a human being, too!

But I suggest that taking the time to face the children and their messages and communication is vital. Sometimes, the most important things are hiding behind the sentences, or they are revealed just after some chattering.

Once we ask a child something, we also need to listen to the answers. I remember how one of my children was disappointed after talking to some adults. The reason was that they just asked him something but didn’t take the time to listen to his answer. He was very serious about that.

So let’s spend some time, let’s be patient. Things that are important to a child may not be interesting to us or have a high priority in busy adult life. But we cannot expect a child to confide the painful secrets, fears, or pressures to us if we haven’t been patient enough to listen to their everyday issues and share incidents along the way.