What Are Friends For?

A true friend is a treasure

By Tuula Pere

January 15^th, 2026

Various friends illustrated by Stefan Turk for "Mother's Bread Dough" and Andrea Alemanno for "Leo, the Little Wanderer" and "The Fox's Tower".

What Are Friends For?

A true friend is a treasure. It may take time to find the genuine thing, but once you do, it is worth cherishing. The essence of friendship was already explored by ancient philosophers, including Cicero, whose ideas I have instinctively incorporated into the children's storybooks I have written.

Friendship is a timeless theme

Recently, I revisited the ideas of the famous ancient Roman philosopher Cicero on friendship and its importance. It’s interesting to see how these ideas still resonate today and to think about how they can still be shared with children. After studying old texts for a while, I was surprised by their freshness and realized that I had often included similar messages in my own children's books.

Friends made early in life are very special. However, the shared interests that formed the foundation of youthful friendships may fade over time. Therefore, we should be open to making new friends with people of all ages to enrich our lives and broaden our perspectives.

In my books, there are seniors who have maintained friendships over the years, even when life has kept them apart for long periods. The old grandmothers in the story "Lullaby of the Valley" serve as a good example of this. Shared experiences—even struggles—bring them closer together. In war, human relationships—even friendships—with those labeled as enemies present a huge challenge. I’ve written about how two mothers on the run with their children find a bond, despite representing opposing sides in the conflict. In my book "Mother's Bread Dough," the women explain that they are just two mothers trying to get their children to safety.

Friendship is built between souls

Some people can become friends even if they don't speak the same language. Friendship then forms directly from heart to heart, glance to glance, touch to touch. I have also written about friendships between children and the elderly, where both parties share something very meaningful in their lives. This is seen, for example, in my book "Leo, the Little Wanderer." I have experienced that myself as well.

Friendship is a unique bond between individuals. I believe that in relationships, quantity should never be a substitute for quality. I have a few true friends with whom I've shared my life for many years. A friendship must last a long time to become truly meaningful—and to reveal its true nature. I'm very cautious about friendships because I fear losing one would hurt too much. After disappointments, forming new friendships becomes even more challenging. I've had to learn this life lesson as well.

Also, the famous Cicero pointed out that it's wise to find out what lies in someone else's heart before investing in the effort that genuine friendship requires. Ending a friendship that results in disappointment can be painful and tough.

From friendship to disappointment

In my children's books, I also explore these experiences of disappointment. Readers are reminded that not everything that glitters is gold... The book “Colin the Crab's Finds a Treasure” features the smooth-talking Larry the Lobster as a cautionary tale!

One should not be fooled by a person's superficial beauty, possessions, status, or anything that masks their true character. We should always aim to discover who the genuine, authentic person truly is behind everything.

I fully agree with Cicero that a friend is willing to risk much for another, but not his honor. The philosopher gives us a serious warning: if a friend asks you to lie, cheat, or do something shameful, carefully consider whether he is truly who you thought he was. Friendship is based on goodness and cannot survive if it involves wrongdoing.

In my Fox Series, the crooked protagonist Francis can't build genuine friendships because everything he does is motivated by his desire for power and money. —And I have already written six books about this sinister character, including “The Fox's Palace,” where the protagonist pretends to be a friend but is willing to ruthlessly betray the retiring badger and town officials!!!

Honesty and compassion – cornerstones of friendship

True friendship offers both people the comforting feeling that a reliable person is by their side through good and bad days. You don't need to pretend anything with your friend. Being honest and truly yourself is enough. It's important to remember that friends don't compete; they support and celebrate each other's successes.

I strive to be a sincere and trustworthy friend to those close to me. They know I'm there even if we haven't seen each other in a while. Our bond is strong and enduring. I always try to give more than I take—I hope I succeed. And I’m good at keeping secrets…

Here's a tip for making friends with Finns: having coffee together is a great way to start! Also, remember that sometimes you can be completely silent with your Finnish friend – your quiet friend is not angry with you!

Footnotes

Warm Values Blog © by Ph.D. in Law, Author Tuula Pere

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FootNotes

Warm Values Blog © by Ph.D. in Law, Author Tuula Pere

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